Thanksgiving is Thursday, but I am giving thanks today, my friends, because the college football season here is over.

From Kingston to Newport to Smithfield to Providence, this fall was as bad as a gelatin mold with fruit cocktail. Remember those? Football was worse, even, than a slice of mincemeat pie. There was not a winning team among the University of Rhode Island, Bryant, Brown and Salve Regina. Indeed, nobody came close.

Here are the lowlights, or, in the spirit of the season, leftovers.

URI (2-10, 0-8 Colonial Athletic Association)

A bitter disappointment after a 6-5 finish in 2018, URI’s first winning season in 17 years, a new synthetic playing surface at Meade Stadium, and lights. Victories were over Brown – read about the Bears next – and Merrimack, a Division II program beginning the transition to Division I. Rhody lost three games in September by a total of 15 points, turned in a gutsy performance in a 17-point loss at big-time Virginia Tech and fell at Albany by a touchdown, a decision that marked a turning point, and not for the better. Elon won by 25, William & Mary by 36 and James Madison by 34. 

What’s wrong with URI football? If you have answers in addition to not enough good players, please contact Jim Fleming. He’s the head coach.

BROWN (2-8, 1-6 Ivy League)

Coach James Perry’s return to College Hill generated a lot of excitement, a little offense and not much defense. A return to respectability a season after the 1-9, 0-7 record in 2018 was an unreasonable expectation. Perry, the best quarterback in the Ivy League 20 years ago and hero of Brown’s 1999 Ivy League Championship team, did welcome his nephew, E.J. Perry, from Boston College, and let him run and throw his way into the Brown record book. He was a fine one-man show. Brown scored, but its opponents scored more. Harvard put up 42 points, Holy Cross 47, Princeton 65, Yale 59. Back-to-back two-point losses at Cornell and at Penn might have hurt more than going 0-5 at Brown Stadium.

Offense is Perry’s middle name, but he will have to pay attention to defense if he expects to win. And I doubt that winning will bring crowds of 10,000 back to the East Side. The world has changed since James Perry played here. The Patriots rule the fall now.

BRYANT (4-8, 3-4 Northeast Conference)

This was a tale of two seasons for rookie college coach Chris Merritt, who left a successful high-school career in Miami to pick up the pieces after Perry and most of his staff moved to Brown. Bryant lost its first five games but won four of its last seven. The only stinkers in all those Ls were a 45-3 rout at Albany and a 52-14 crushing at Central Connecticut.

Merritt’s job is to recruit players who can move the ball and score. The Bulldogs averaged only 269.2 yards and 16.6 points per game this season.

SALVE REGINA (4-6, 3-4 Commonwealth Coast Conference)

Salve Regina is not used to losing, not after nine consecutive winning seasons and six post-season appearances, so this 4-6 finish is probably an aberration. Losses to Norwich by three, Endicott by six, Western New England by seven and Husson by three could have gone the other way. And the Seahawks did win three of their last four. 

The future in Newport looks a little brighter than the other three college football pit stops in Rhode Island.

Our little state is not the only college football wasteland in New England. Among our neighbors are UMass, 1-11 with four opponents scoring more than 60 points, three more than 50 and four more than 40 in the first year of the Walt Bell era, and UConn, 2-9, 0-7 in the American Athletic Conference.

I can’t leave you on such a discouraging note, so here is some good news. The Providence College men’s soccer team is on to the third round of the NCAA Tournament after upsetting No. 13 Penn State, 3-2, Sunday at University Park, Pa. Trevor Davock scored the game-winning goal in the 95th minute, completing a stunning rally from a 2-0 deficit. Esben Wolf and Tiago Mendonca scored in the second half for the Friars. PC, 16-6-0, tied the school record for most victories in a season.  Next up is No. 2 Clemson in the Round of 16.

And the record-setting Brown women’s soccer team defeated Monmouth in a shootout in the first round of the NCAA Tournament Nov. 16 but then lost, 2-0, at defending national champion Florida State on Nov. 22. The Bears, the Ivy League champions, finished with a 14-2-3 record, their best season in 25 years.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!